MAGIC CUBE TERROR IN TOY STORE Here's one that got overlooked back in October.
2 agents from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security visited Stephanie Cox's St. Helens, OR toystore to tell her to remove all of the Magic Cubes from her shelves.
The agents explained that the Magic Cube is an illegal copy of Rubik's Cube, and they stayed to make sure she removed the Magic Cubes.
After they left, Cox called the Magic Cube manufacturer, the Auburn, WA Toysmith Group who explained to her that the Rubik's Cube patent had expired and that no trademark was infringed upon.
Virginia Kice, a spokeswoman for Immigration and Customs Enforcement said: "One of the things that our agency's responsible for doing is protecting the integrity of the economy and our nation's financial systems and obviously trademark infringement does have significant economic implications."
So, large corporations now have their own stormtroopers, and they are the very people who are supposed to be keeping us safe from terrorists?
A bewildered Cox wonders, "Aren't there any terrorists out there?"
NO REAL POTHOLES TO BE FOUND IN SAN JOSE On Thursday, May 26, California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger (R) traveled to a San Jose neighborhood to fill a pothole, dug by city crews especially for the photo op. Evidently, there are no real potholes in San Jose.
To the sounds of The Doobie Brothers "Taking It To The Streets," Arnold made a speech to TV cameras, then grabbed a broom and helped city road workers fill the pothole they had made for Arnold just a short time before.
"I'm here today to let everyone know that we're going to improve transportation all across our state,'' said Schwarzenegger.
The first step? How about having road workers stop creating potholes.
RING TONE MORE POPULAR THAN COLDPLAY The cell phone ring tone, "Crazy Frog Axel F" (based on the sound of a revving Swedish mo-ped) topped the British Singles Chart on May 29, beating out Coldplay's single, "Speed of Sound."
The ring tone was able to take the top of the charts because it's available for download as a CD single.
But then, I gotta say, I would much rather listen to a mo-ped rev than sit through a Coldplay single.
...PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE ELSE, AND THEN ACT LIKE A DOUCHE So what do you do if everyone hates you? Well, if you're ClearChannel, you don't try to address the problems people have with you. Instead you simply set up fake anti-Clear Channel pirate radio channels that bash ClearChannel.
The company set up a fake radio station in Akron, OH which it then used to hurl insults at itself and overbleed other ClearChannel radio stations.
A new business plan for ugly giant mega-corporations that are gradually losing public favor?
THE WAL-MARTING OF MARYLAND Last week, Wal-Mart, ripe from Erlich's veto of legislation that would have required them to provide adequate healthcare to employees tries to get a little creative in an attempt to give a community something it does not want, a Wal-Mart.
Wal-Mart is famous for trying to circumvent local zoning regulations, but in Dunkirk, Maryland, the retailer got particularly creative. The small hamlet had a rule against stores larger than 75,000 feet--so the company proposed to build two Wal-Mart stores side by side. Fortunately, this bit of Amelia Bedelia literalism was emphatically rejected by a community outcry, and Wal-Mart backed down last week.
SUGAR BUSH SQUIRREL "If you know of any American or allied soldiers overseas, whether it be in Iraq, Afghanistan, South Korea or any other place where we have peace keepers, who might like wallet size photos of Sugar Bush Squirrel 'The Military Mascot' to carry in their pockets with them, please email me their email addresses, where they can receive and print them out, and Sugar Bush will email each one of them one of her shots (in the military attire of his/her choice). If you know of military service personnel overseas who would like wallet size photos of her for their whole company to carry around in their pockets, let me know the company's APO address, and how many are in the group, and we will see to it that they receive a whole box of her wallet photos AT SUGAR BUSH SQUIRREL'S EXPENSE!!!
Sugar Bush Squirrel wants to boost the morale of every member of the American Armed Services and allied troops around the world. Thanks for helping her accomplish her goal!!!"
Sure, I guess a goofy picture of a squirrel in fatigues could be kinda morale boosting.
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