American Standard: On Footballing Revisionism

RAVENS & COLTS
by Benn Ray

As I write this, the Ravens are playing the Colts for a shot at the Superbowl, and some areas of Baltimore are already adorned with purple lights. If the Raven's win, more lights will become purple, that is until they turn pink (which is what happened the last time the Ravens went to the Superbowl because the city ran out of purple gels and lightbulbs).

Showing pride in a corporate enterprise involving a game played by millionaries as if it has some importance to your region is one thing. That can be seen as kinda fun. In fact, I like how the purple lights (and then pink) give Baltimore a gay/goth vibe.

But I've seen some people saying some really silly things about the significance of this game online... how it somehow signals a rebirth of Baltimore, how it's a validation of our city, etc... a whole convoluted and forced "look at where we were when the Colts left us and look at us now" sort of thing.

Well, right now it's halftime and the Ravens are 6 points down. What does that mean if they lose? That we'll fall back into decay? That we're losers? What? If a Ravens victory against the Colts has some sort of  symbolic bearing on our city, a loss to the Colts must also mean something as well. So, what would it mean? That the strip mallification and yuppification of Baltimore is doomed to fail as well?

The Colts crept out of town and abandoned Baltlimore like so may of the people bitching and moaning about them right now. Remember when Baltimore was bleeding population? Many of our current suburbanites were former Baltimore residents who, because of their own prejudices, were all too ready to run from a city that needed them.

These people in the suburbs who like to turn their backs on Baltimore whenever we have some sort of problem (the ones who voted for Ehrlich - a man who treated Baltimore far worse than Bob Irsay ever did), who watch TV news and see every report of a murder as an indictment of our city, are the very same ones in purple camouflage, bitter and pissed off at the Colts for doing exactly what they did: for abadoning a city suffering from blight and decay in its time of need (a point my friend Dug has been making very eloquently to me via IM).

And now that we have Best Buys and Staples downtown, and a tourist trap Inner Harbor and stadiums for the suburbanites to come play in and hell, even homogenized townhomes (replacing historic rowhomes), condos, and luxury apartments for them to pay through the nose for in order to move back, some how we're all fit and pretty and looking good for the Colts' return? The things some of these people are saying are very similar to someone who sees an ex for the first time since they've been dumped a few years ago and feeling relived that they look good - like the ex will somehow regret dumping your ass... it's sad and pathetic. Get over the ex. Get over the Colts.

Plus, we've already played the Colts several times before - so it's not even relevant - these types of comments about this particular game's significance are just revisionist.

I drove through Baltimore last night from York Road to Greenmount all the way downtown. I'm not sure why I did it, but I saw the Baltimore I love. The Baltimore that was citywide at the time of the Colts departure. Run down, beat up, and full of character. Not the Baltimore of Best Buy, Starbucks and newly transplanted DC commuters. Yes, the Colts were assholes for leaving us. But then, so was everyone else who started fleeing the city post World War II - for the golden hills of the suburbs. If we condemn one, we must condemn them all.

I say fuck the Colts. Win or lose, it doesn't matter a goddamn lick. And fuck those who ran from Baltimore. Don't act like it's your city when something good happens here, and they turn your backs on us when we need help.

Imagine if everyone doing themselves up in purple marched on City Hall and demanded a realistic solution to our drug and murder problem? Or rallied to call on a solution to fix our school system? Or even if they gave a shit about the Iraq War and instead of holing themselves up at the local pub to watch the game, they marched on Washington and demanded a troop withdrawl? What would happen then?

Do I want the Ravens to win? Sure. Why not. (Actually, I don't really care. I'm a baseball fan, and what Angelos has done to the Orioles is far more criminal than an NFL franchise hopping cities.) Does it matter if they beat the Colts? Absolutely not. It doesn't matter who they beat as long as they get into the Superbowl, right? Isn't that the goal? Or is it simply beating a team that left the city you yourself turned your back on. The field of psychology has a word for this...

As a name, Ravens are superior to Colts anyway. As Rachel pointed out to me, what are Colts? Horse puppies!

I leave you with this quote from Noam Chomsky:

"Sports is another crucial example of the indoctrination system . . . It offers people something to pay attention to that is of no importance . . . It keeps them from worrying about things that matter to their livs that they might have an idea of something about . . . People have the most exotic information and understanding about all sorts of arcane issues . . . It's a way of building up irrational attitudes of submission to authority, and group cohesion behind leadership elements, in fact its training in irrational jingoism . . . That's why energy is devoted to supporting them . . . and advertisers are willing to pay for them."

The funny thing is I found some comments on the Free Republic listing this quote and then discussing it in that way that only Freepers and 7th graders are capable of - with total ignorance and stupidity. They called Chomsky an "over-educated idiot" (both impossible and a contradiction in terms) and suggested this was part of a liberal plot to stop the Superbowl (ridiculous). Why is it, as far as sports fans go, that the only sport that draws a Redder audience is NASCAR?

Chomsky is one of America's greatest thinkers, and I think his comments are worth serious consideration (why is it more people know football stats than the voting record of those they elect to represent them). But then, I suspect Noam was rarely picked first for sports at school when kids divided up teams.

Go Ravens!