by Benn Ray
Here are a collection of excerpts from one-star reviews from John Waters New York Times bestseller, Carsick.
"Seeing as I'm 75 and have never been into what I consider porn, straight or homosexual, I found what little I have read to be disgusting. I can't see why it was recommended by the people on Morning Joe." -Ann
You take book recommendations from Morning Joe? Wait! Morning Joe recommended Carsick?!!
"...This was awful! I brought it on a plane, and even though it was the only book I had with me, after a few chapters, I could not take it anymore...." -readerrunnermom
I know what you mean. I've been on long flights next to people like you where I felt exactly the same way.
"Absolute trash from beginning to end. ..." -Holan
You know one of John's nicknames is "The Pope Of Trash", right? That being said, you should upgrade your review to 5 stars.
"Couldn't get by the sex crap - wish I hadn't purchased it." -Paul Ashworth
"Sex crap?" Sounds like you have some hangups to work out.
"...It took me a while to figure out that the first chapters are fiction. I thought the author was simply on acid. ..." -Larry E. Naylor
John pretty much spells it all out right up front.
"This book is sick. It's set up in three sections. The 'bad' rides turned my stomach. ..." -Michael Barcelona
That was kind of the point.
"KILL ALL PEOPLE NOW LEGALISE CANIBALISM NO MORE OF YOU HAVE BEen found guilty OF ASSHOLism." -GDC
"This is a truly terrible book. I bought it thinking that it would be the story of John Waters hitchhiking across America. A reasonable assumption, no? Instead, it's a collection of his fantasies, most of them without any redeeming merit. (At least that's the reality of what I read, before giving up a quarter of the way through in disgust.) ..." -David E. Arnold
If you wouldn't have given up, you would have eventually gotten to the point of the book you're looking for. A little patience goes a long way.
"... There are certain things that I do not understand: Kim Kardashian's fame, rap music, horror pictures, Jello, blood sausages, and comb-overs. Now, I have to add John Waters. ...After I read the first eight chapters that covered his imaginary best hitchhiking trips, I was happy that I did not continue on to read his imaginary worst trips. While his material is high on imagination, it's low on content. In my opinion, the product is over-the-top, weird, perverted, and most important, not funny. ..." -bobbyr
Coming from someone who claims to not understand rap, Jello, blood sausages or horror pictures, you pretty much invalidate your own review.
"... Am sorry I ever wasted my money on this total waste of time and money. Will never buy another book by this author again." -David Goulhart
Are there other "total wastes of time and money" you aren't sorry for wasting your money on? Can you give examples?
"This was a waste of my money. Mr. Waters, you are full of yourself.... " -Corredor
Right - how dare an author make themselves the subject of their own book. The nerve!
"I stopped reading about halfway through. Waters mentions the recent discovery that Travels With Charlie was totally fabricated in the prologue, then tells a pulp hitchhiking story that’s so racy and short on detail as to seem even more fictional. There’s far too much luck and coincidence, and too little character development or discussion of the challenges of hitchhiking for this story to seem remotely plausible." -rs695
You do get the first 2/3s of the book was fiction right? As an astute reader, you did pick up on that?
"I don't believe a word of it. I want my money back. Fiction is fine, but if I wanted that I would have bought it." -Shoehorse
Actually, that's what you did buy. Fictitious fantasy stories. Nightmare stories. Then real stories. It's right in the front of the book.
"John Waters' writing, like his movies, are clearly an acquired taste....one which I, apparently, have not acquired. An unending saga of sexual escapades, real or not, this book is certainly NOT Travels with Charlie...." -Dohn D. Boyd
At least this "critic" acknowledges the problem is they have no taste.
"I called BS before his first ride was over-- when a stranger gives him $5 million cash to make a movie, explaining that he got rich selling pot and the money was chump change to him. I gave up on the book after 6 rides. That first ride was actually the most believable. ... I assumed this thing was supposed to be some parody of Fear and Loathing meets Alice in Wonderland, but when I poked around the Internet, apparently the author is claiming this to a a true story. Alice in Wonderland is more believe-able. This man tells stories like an 8 year old, not a 68 year old. I'm going to call Amazon and ask for a refund. This is the most ridiculous book I've ever downloaded." - Lindalealphamale
Can't get one by you. You figured it out. The first section was fantasy rides, the seconde section was nightmare rides, and the third was what really happened. It's not really rocket science here people.