by Neil Tobias
HEY SHOMOS!!!
I was talking to Punjab the other night and he told me that if I wanted to get chicks to sleep with me I should talk about freeing Mumia. I didn't know shit about Mumia, but I was really horny and ready to give it a try. I did a little research to prepare myself (just in case any of the sluts asked me any SPECIFIC questions about the case--yes, I actually work for my pussy unlike some of you guys in Baltimore. I do homework and shit, AND I EXCERISE YOU FAT FUCKING BALTIMORE GUYS!!!). So after reading about this fellow on Wikipedia, I have to ask: WHY THE FUCK DOES ANYBODY WANT THIS GUY FREE!?!?!?!?!!? I AM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!!!! EVEN IF HE DIDN'T DO IT, I'M SURE HE DID SOMETHING, IF NOT BEFORE PRISION THEN CERTAINLY IN PRISON!!!
MY BUDDY MARK (from Apocalypse Rising) HAS A BROTHER IN JAIL (Jessup) BECAUSE HE ACCIDENTALLY RAN OVER A GUY WHO WAS CHASING HIM!!!! HE WAS GETTING CHASED BY THIS GUY BECAUSE THE GUY SAID MARK OWED HIM MONEY AND MARK WAS TRYING TO GET THE FUCK AWAY!!!! MARK GOT THREE YEARS (the guy is paralyzed) AND THE GUY IS GETTING ALL THIS MONEY FROM A CIVIL SUIT AND WE THINK HE MIGHT BE A POT HEAD!!!! THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!! FUCK MUMIA!!!! FREE MARK'S BROTHER!!!!!
I really want to get people behind either a "DON'T FREE MUMIA" campaign or at least a "FREE MARK'S BROTHER" campaign. If any of you fuckfaces have seen Apocalypse Rising (they played the Brass Monkey last week) then you know Mark, AND HIS BROTHER LOOKS JUST LIKE HIM!!!
APOCALYPSE RISING WOULD WHIP THE SHIT OUT OF YOU WITH THEIR DICKS JUST FOR FOR THE FUCK OF IT, SO CHECK THEM OUT!!!!
FREE MY PEE-PEE FROM PANTS!!!!! IT IS BEING HELD ILLEGALLY!!! IT WAS NOT GIVEN DUE PROCESS!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!! MY PEE-PEE WAS FRAMED BY THE ABSTINENCE COPS!!! WE NEED TO RALLY TOGETHER!!! SOMEBODY PLEASE GET RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE TO PLAY A SHOW TO FREE MY PEE-PEE FROM MY PANTS!!!
Later, asses.
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My name is Neil Tobias. This column is all about playing in a
rock band and LIFTING WEIGHTS!! I also have Hepatitis C . I am new in
town so please excuse me if I don't pronounce all your counties
correctly. I will always however PRONOUNCE THE TRUTH CORRECTLY!
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