Madam 8-Ball's Horoscope: Holiday Freakout

by Madam 8-Ball

IS IT TIME TO FREAKOUT ABOUT YOUR HOLIDAY SHOPPING?

AQUARIUS: Most likely.
PISCES: Better not tell you now.
ARIES: You may rely on it.
TAURUS: As I see it, yes.
GEMINI: As I see it, yes.
CANCER: Cannot predict now.
LEO: It is certain.
VIRGO: It is decidedly so.
LIBRA: Cannot predict now.
SCORPIO: Yes.
SAGITTARIUS: Yes.
CAPRICORN: Reply hazy, try again.

Specialty Bonus Sign
OPHIUCHUS: Concentrate and ask again.