Mobtown Shank

This Is Not How Centaurs Are Made

Dude, seriously. Stop fucking the horse.

A South Carolina man was charged with having sex with a horse after the animal's owner caught the act on videotape, then staked out the stable and caught him at shotgun point, authorities said Wednesday.

But this wasn't the first time Rodell Vereen has been charged with buggery. He pleaded guilty last year to having sex with the same horse after owner Barbara Kenley found him in the same stable and was sentenced to probation and placed on the state's sex offender list.

Source.

Freak O' The Week: Lunch Is Fun

by Miss Sarah

LUNCH IS FUN
Anyone can anonymously post what they've had for lunch and make up a name on the fly.  What's the point, you ask?  There is no point.  It's just silly fun to see what people are eating and writing. Yeah, I get real bored at work sometimes.  Quite often the site is dominated by annoyingly smug postings detailing gourmet lunch menus by "Lunch Bastard Dave" and whiny protestations of name-stealing from "Original Lunch Bastard Dave."  Other recurring posts involve a vague but passionate ongoing feud about the superiority of English vs. American food, spam posts advertising Vietnam and Laos travel and tourism, fake spam posts about catching STDs and dysentery in Vietnam and Laos, and the extreme gayness of Lunch Bastard Dave (often affectionately referred to as "LBD").

Here are a couple other pseudo-voyeuristic and very pointless sites....

SEND ME A VOICEMAIL

HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

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Freak O' The Week: Kodesex

by Miss Sarah

KODESEX: CODED WEARABLE IMAGES FOR SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY

"The kodesex (TM) product line is the brainchild of Max Miller who founded Intellectual Solutions, LP. As an uncontrollably horny kid since teen age, he always wondered what some chick in class was into, or how far he could score with the MILF next door. Then, while getting brain in college, something soft and supple fell on his head at a frat party and he had an epiphany of sorts: Why not make shirts that spell out your sexual menu?  Take the guesswork out of what's for dinner... In case you're wondering what's with the swirl and the psychedelic rays, they're just there for the art. This way your gear looks more interesting, and if you don't want to admit what it's all about, you can say it's just some freaky art you found online. Think of it as plausible deniability for awkward moments.  We got you covered tighter than a jimmy hat... Every generation has its place in history and is remembered by some symbolic token of its time.  Wouldn't it be cool if the start of our millennium were remembered by the kodesex (TM) 'Lickey Face (TM)'? Share the fantasy: The Lickey Face for all posterity."

Sure.  But what's a jimmy hat?  Oh.

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Freak O' The Week: Searching With...

by Miss Sarah

SEARCH WITH KEVIN
Hey, anybody want to search the web with Kevin Federline?  I mean, when I think of quality internet searching capability, I naturally think of Britney's ex-husband and baby-daddy. Or, maybe you would prefer to search with someone a bit more mature, say, like Meatloaf. Or it could be that Andrew Dice Clay's is the search you want to go to, perhaps when looking for "Lindsay Lohan upskirt photos"?

I know, it's hard to pick one, isn't it?!?!

But for me, it's Wynonna forever.

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Freak O' The Week: Missing Peeps

by Miss Sarah

MISSING PEOPLE HELP - SOMEONE IS MISSING.COM

"If you don't have recent upper body photos of everyone in your immediate family, please stop what your doing, gather everyone together and one by one, take their picture from the chest up. Once you've finished and developed the film, place the photos in plastic bag for safe keeping, make sure to do this yearly. It's that important."

It's really surprising, in this overpopulated world of ours, how many people still go missing each year.  This site aims to help by posting pictures of people's missing loved ones online. It's kinda freaky to browse through pages for various missing people and wonder where the hell they all went.  Some of the people eventually get "found," but often the story ends tragically.  To browse by state, page down to the blue box on the left side titled "State by State."

There's also a wiki version of this site for do-it-yourselfers.

And a forum for people who have just lost track of somebody.

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Freak O' The Week: More Freaky Products

by Miss Sarah

APPLIED ANIMAL ENRICHMENTS
Probably you already know about Horseballs. But if you don't, you really should. Here's a lovely introductory video about Horseballs.

Horseballs are lots of fun... and they encourage socialization!  Also, I heard Harry Potter likes them.

In other animal-related freaky products.....

FELLOWLIKE PET PRODUCT CO., LTD.
The Fellowlike Pet Product company has only one product, but, boy, it's revolutionary!  It's called the Supercatcher.

Be sure to watch the "demo vedio clip" on the upper left side.  Ha!  Do we think Fellowlike to touch the bag that has just been smashed up against his pet's defecating ass?  No, based on the way fellow handles the "droppings pouch" in the video, we do not think Fellowlike that too much.

Finally, here is the product for you, if you no likey to wear the panties (for example, if you are a paparazzi-menaced young Hollywood starlet):

COMMANDOS
"Our vision includes the liberation of the last bastion of female sexuality.  It has become OK in mainstream America to speak openly about boobies and booties, and now we are opening the doors to let 'coochies' be OK to talk about...It's time... it's just plain time to shed the historical chastity belt, cover-it-up-at-all costs mentality and allow girls and women to go underwear free without embarrassment.  We want to keep coochies happy, safe, protected, and comfortable!  And, yes, GUYS!, we have Original Commandos TM coming for you, too!"

(From the Imagine/Vision page. )

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Freak O' The Week: No Pressure, No Pressure...

by Miss Sarah

BIRTHDAYS WITHOUT PRESSURE

From the "What's out of control?" page:
How do out of control birthday parties affect parents?
-They feel guilty if the party was below community standards that they don’t really agree with.
-They feel overloaded with TOO MUCH STUFF, which they have to manage, organize, and clean up.
-They feel regret or resentment afterwards when their child, or others, is not appreciative enough—'Why did I extend myself so much?'
-They run up debt from their own parties and from buying gifts for other parties.
-They experience couple strife when parents do not agree on how big to make the party and how to carry it off.

Am I missing something?  Why is this so difficult?  I really don't get it.  PEOPLE: just DON'T throw an elaborate birthday party for your kid.  If you don't want to, just don't!  Let all the other parents talk about you, if that's what they want to do. Obviously they are not your real friends, if they seize this opportunity to look down on you.  What happened to not giving a fuck about what other people think?  Your kid will be happy with a few friends and a cake, and if he's not, he probably needs this lesson in humility anyway.

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Freak O' The Week: Charlie's Truth

by Miss Sarah

MANSON DIRECT
The site for the Charles Manson Truth.

"For decades Charlie has been reminding us of the importance of the environment- the Air, Trees, Water, Animals. Those who know him know that his message has remained consistent for all these years, as it still is today. Here is a link to an article Charlie would appreciate, it just the sort of thing he has been telling us since way back when. Will anybody listen?"

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Freak O' The Week: By the Book

by Miss Sarah

BOOK 22
Maybe you have made a New Year's resolution to spice up your love life, and you are a devout Christian. Are edible undies considered sinful?  How about vibrating jelly ticklers?  Well, it is just a fallacy that sex and religion don't mix!  (Within the bonds of Christian matrimony, and with a partner of the opposite sex.)

"It is our company's policy that the products we sell be purchased for married couples only. As explained in the book of Genesis, God created woman from man's flesh and bone to be his companion. In so doing, he illustrated that in marriage man and woman symbolically become one flesh. A common theme throughout the Bible is sexual purity. One example of this can be found in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4, 'For God wants you to be holy and pure and to keep clear of sexual sin so that each of you will marry in holiness and honor.' We want to encourage God's plan for people to remain sexually pure, that is why we offer our products to married couples only."

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Freak O' The Week: Underwater Sculpture

by Miss Sarah

UNDERWATER SCULPTURE GALLERY - GRENADA
Just imagine, there you are on vacation, snorkeling happily along in the warm and pleasant waters of the Caribbean, when suddenly, you see this.

After you finish spluttering and coughing up the water you just swallowed, you realize you are in an underwater sculpture gallery.  Cool!  But freaky.  Especially when the sculptures start to get covered in algae.

On a related note, here is a cool YouTube video of an spooky barnacled underwater Christ, in Key Largo:

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